Enough
by badcaricatures
Summary: If there was one thing that Nico DiAngelo understood- and understood fully, thank you very much- it was that love hurt. And not the kind of hurt that left you sighing in bed, curled up with a hellhound and the latest House of Cards episode- but the kind of hurt that ripped straight through your chest, zigzagging a wound that bled red and never quite healed.


If there was one thing that Nico DiAngelo understood- and understood fully, thank you very much- it was that love hurt.

And not the kind of hurt that left you sighing in bed, curled up with a hellhound and the latest House of Cards episode- but the kind of hurt that ripped straight through your chest, zigzagging a wound that bled red and never quite healed.

The first person he ever loved was his mother.

She was beautiful and kind, and she loved him and Bianca with a devotion that rivaled that of the greatest love stories- no mother, Nico was sure, had ever been quite like his.

She would kiss his knee when he scraped it, brush Bianca's hair before she slept, and sing soft, low lullabies that crept into his heart and sent him peacefully to sleep, winging through his dreams and gently dusting aside cobwebs from the day before.

She had implicit faith in her lover, Hades, but that faith was what went and got her killed and he should have learned from it, he really should have.

His mother's death should have been his first lesson.

The second person he ever loved was Bianca.

He lists her as second not because he loved her less- but simply because she was the one he took for granted, the one he loved and loved and knew would always come back for him.

Except she didn't.

Except she left, joined the ranks of the Hunters of Artemis and left him behind, a small, lonely, lost little boy of twelve with nothing but his stupid Mythomagic cards and those metal figurines that never looked like the real gods anyway.

When she died, he figured that that was that- he was a son of the Underworld after all, and hell isn't a place of love- maybe he was just doomed to live like this- to live alone.

He should have listened to himself. Bianca's death should have been his second lesson.

But apparently Nico DiAngelo is stupid- because no matter how many lessons he's learned, he finds himself sneaking glances at someone else- someone who is taken, someone with messy black hair and the power to control the sea, someone whose eyes blaze when they look at Annabeth Chase.

Nico DiAngelo is definitely stupid- it's just reinforced over and over again when he sees their fingers interlocked, or when she throws her arms around his neck and his face lights up, or when she calls him Seaweed Brain and he gets this look on his face like he wants to kiss her, _right now_.

They were Odysseus and Penelope, Shah Jahan and Mumtaz, Scarlett and Rhett- they were lovers and warriors and they belonged together, even a Cyclops could see that.

Gods, Nico is stupid.

He's an outcast- he knows this. He has tried to come to terms with it for years.

But no matter how hard he tries, it is never enough and he continues to feel lonely, shunted to the side and called upon only when someone needs a skeleton or an army of the dead.

Once, during one of the battles on the _Argo II_, Nico caught sight of Percy's face.

Annabeth was fighting with him- they were back to back, the son of the sea and the daughter of wisdom- and his face was bloodstained and tired, with a cut right below his temple. But his _eyes_- gods, his green eyes held a hurricane and his expression was so fierce that Nico wavered in battle and got struck straight across the chest, flying backwards into the mast of the ship.

As he lay in the wreckage, coughing and struggling for breath, an image of Percy's face came to Nico's mind.

The intensity with which he battled was to protect _her_, Nico knew. It was because there was nothing more that Percy Jackson feared than losing Annabeth Chase- to death, to love, to anything or anyone that would take her away from him.

And that thought killed Nico's heart surer and faster than any sword through the chest could ever have done.

It should have been his third lesson.

But Nico is stupid (they've discussed this before), and though he knows that he still has Hazel and that Percy cares for him, really, it is not enough.

Because Nico wants something he can never have and it's painful, gods, it so painful that his ribs are cracking under the strain of it all.

Nico is one of the most powerful demigods to ever exist- but it is not enough.

It will never be enough.

So he will wait. He will wait and he will help guide them, and he will battle in this war against Gaea, if only for Percy.

But when it is over, Nico will leave. He will leave and he will not return because maybe, just maybe, the third lesson will be enough to tip him over and he'll finally learn and understand that this is his fate, that this is what being a child of Hades _means_.

He will leave and join his mother and sister, taking his place in the Underworld where he belongs.

And for once, he supposes, this will just have to be enough.

* * *

**Hello all :) I just finished reading the latest Olympus book- and god, the while Nico thing really messed me up. I am a true Percy/Annabeth fan, but Nico's fate is so tragic. I hope he gets a good ending in the next book. Or not. Both would make great reads. **

**Anyway, please review! I love constructive criticism or kind words- anything at all is greatly appreciated.**

**Thanks,**

**-BC **


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